What Are The Possible Signs That Your Child Suffers From Bullies?

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  Most of us picture a bully to be this overgrown brat that preys on the small and weak.  Rarely the case.  In today’s world of technology, bullies are much more sinister than ever, with Facebook, text messaging, photos & videos.

It might surprise you to know that bullies do not necessarily need a reason to target their prey.  Bullying could start as a simple dare from other kids, to bring your child’s world crashing down around them.

Bullies look for people that are different or weak but most of the time it is jealousy.  There are bullies everywhere.  They are in your church, schools, your neighborhood, your office, even your home.  It is our job to know what to do and how to stop the bullies once and for all.

When my son was in the 5th grade, he was a good looking kid that happened to be taller than most boys in his grade.  He was a good boy, raised in church, and got along with everyone.

One day I started noticing a difference in his behavior.  He became withdrawn from the family, stayed in his room more than usual.  I knew something was wrong but he would not tell me what it was.  Day after day, I pleaded with him to talk to me about what was bothering him.  He didn’t.  As I watched him become more depressed by the day, all I could do was pray.

One night I walked by his bedroom door and I could hear my big strong son crying.  Being a mama bear, I went in determined to find out what was going on.  I sat down on his bed and begged him to talk to me.  He wouldn’t.  As a mother I felt helpless.  My son was tormented and as a result I was tormented with the possible scenarios running through my brain.  It was unbearable.

Weeks went by and I was still in the dark as to what was going on.  Then one day, after walking home from school, my son barrels through the door in a rage.  He throws his back pack across the room and was crying uncontrollably.  As I stood there in shock looking at my son that was almost as tall as me, I yelled “That is it!!! You are going to tell me what is going on, RIGHT NOW!”  He finally did.

Every day for the past month, there was a little boy in his grade that walked the same route home.  This bully walked behind my son the whole way home calling him names, tripping him and tearing the knees of his pants, grabbing his backpack and throwing his books.  I demanded to know who this boy was and he told me.  I didn’t know this kid but he lived just around the block.

I looked at my son and asked, why haven’t you done anything about it?  He looked at me confused and said “You and daddy always told me to never fight and to always turn the other cheek.”  Oh my goodness I was stunned.  I then told him, “I’ll be right back!!!”  He pleaded for me not to go over there.  Begging me to leave it alone.  I looked at him and said, nobody messes with my son, and out the door I flew.

I walked up under the carport and knocked on the door.  A woman came to the door and I asked her if she was (_______’s) mom?  She said yes, and politely asked “can I help you?”  Restraining my anger, I asked her if _________ was home and could I speak with him.  About that time, a “little” little boy cuts the corner to face me.  He was at least 2 heads shorter than my son and I was flabbergasted that this was the bully.  I looked at his mom and said I need to say something to your son while you are present.  She agreed.

This is what I told him: ” _________, I am _______’s mom.”  His eyes got huge.   His mom looked at him with confusion and I continued. “You know, ……the boy you have been bullying for the past month????”  His mother gasps and looks at him and asked him if it was true.  He shook his head yes and looked at the floor.  I proceeded to tell his mother everything he had been doing to my son and I could tell she was visibly upset with him.

“Well, I am here today to tell you, in the presence of your mother, that my son has been obedient to his parents all this time by not getting into fights.  But,  as of TODAY my son has my FULL permission to beat the snot out of you if you ever call him names or touch him again!  Is that clear?  He said yes mam and his mother ordered him to his room.  She had tears in her eyes and said she couldn’t believe he would do that because he had been bullied himself recently.   Before I left, I told her that my son is much bigger than her son and I meant what I said about ______ beating the snot out of him.  She agreed.

I went home and my son was pacing the floor waiting.  I walked in and looked at my almost full grown son and smiled.  I hugged him and said thank you for being obedient, but I told ________ that you had my full permission to beat the snot out of him if he ever touched you again.  My son stepped back and looked at me and asked, REALLY?  Then I laughed at how the difference in size blew me away.  He was so relieved.  I clearly defined that he was not to start fights but he had every right to defend himself.

The next day, guess who wanted to be his best friend???? 🙂

This story is not over…

About a month later, due to heavy rains, I decided to pick my son up from school.  He didn’t know that I would be waiting.  It was pouring rain and as I watched him walked down the sidewalk, I saw him push a smaller boy down into a huge puddle, getting him soaked and muddy.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.  Then he spotted me, smiled and made a dash for the car.  When he opened the door and hopped in, I yelled at him GET OUT OF MY CAR!!!  He look confused, and I said again, GET OUT OF MY CAR NOW, YOUR NOT MY SON!!!!!  He got out and stood  in the rain with the door open.  I told him that I didn’t know who he was.  He looked confused.  I told him what I saw and he looked down.  I demanded that he go immediately to apologize and help the  boy collect his muddy things.  He did.  With all the other kids watching, my son did what I said.  They became friends after that.  He later told me that he was just goofing around with the boy.  I reminded him that he was being a bully, because the other boy was not having fun.

My son learned a life lesson that day and so did I.  It is one thing for your child to be bullied, but it is a totally different thing to know your child is a bully.  To this day, my son has never bullied another person.

The moral of this story is:  If your child has ever been the victim of a bully, they stand a much greater chance of becoming a bully.  Did you know that?  It is true.

Here is a good resource for information about bullying.

Tell me if your child has ever been the victim of bullies and what you did about it.